Jesus. I found myself reading old emails from many years ago and came across an email exchange my then-husband and I had. We had blown up at each other and I went to stay the night with a friend. There was so much anger on both sides. And so much FRUSTRATION. I am amazed at how I came off to him. In his eyes, I had a huge anger problem. My PMS was through the roof. I needed to be more heavily medicated. I was constantly mean to him and emotionally distant and cold.
I wonder how much of that was in his head and how much was due to having to deal with his extreme personality. And how much was from being stressed as a teacher (a job I suffered through because I was usually the main bread-winner).
It still makes me sad to think about the death of our marriage. Parts of it were beautiful. But most if it was stressful and incredibly frustrating and led me to believe that I was never good enough. God, I cried so much during those years. After reading those emails, I'm assured that we made the right decision to get a divorce. I'm feeling a lot less stressed these days. A lot happier.
I also found some emails about Transcendental Meditation. Found the receipt. We paid about 1k for it. It was one of the things that was supposed to improve my mood as well as help me with my food addiction. I didn't see any improvement in any way. I just fell asleep every time I'd go and meditate (during the classes. At home, it was hard to make myself do it.) I decided to give it another try though. It's a lifetime membership, afterall.
I wonder how much of that was in his head and how much was due to having to deal with his extreme personality. And how much was from being stressed as a teacher (a job I suffered through because I was usually the main bread-winner).
It still makes me sad to think about the death of our marriage. Parts of it were beautiful. But most if it was stressful and incredibly frustrating and led me to believe that I was never good enough. God, I cried so much during those years. After reading those emails, I'm assured that we made the right decision to get a divorce. I'm feeling a lot less stressed these days. A lot happier.
I also found some emails about Transcendental Meditation. Found the receipt. We paid about 1k for it. It was one of the things that was supposed to improve my mood as well as help me with my food addiction. I didn't see any improvement in any way. I just fell asleep every time I'd go and meditate (during the classes. At home, it was hard to make myself do it.) I decided to give it another try though. It's a lifetime membership, afterall.
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