So yesterday I had my first session with my therapist, James. I was a nervous wreck when I got there. Past attempts at therapy haven't gone very well. Actually, I do think the marriage counseling I went to with my ex was helpful.
Anyway, I felt very comfortable around him and I liked his personality. He's young and it sort of felt like I was talking to a friend. But still... it was rough having to go through all my past (mostly negative) experiences. I ended up crying pretty hard and feeling a little embarrassed, but James was really supportive and kind. It made me feel really good when he told me I should I be proud of myself for taking such a big step and that he's really excited about helping me. It felt genuine.
I feel optimistic and at the same time still fearful of the work involved. It has never been easy for me to analyze and talk about my feelings. I read in a book once that it's common for survivors of childhood sexual abuse to struggle with identifying emotions. Nonetheless, I am committing to going regularly and working hard to open up. I've got my appointment set for next Tuesday.
Anyway, I felt very comfortable around him and I liked his personality. He's young and it sort of felt like I was talking to a friend. But still... it was rough having to go through all my past (mostly negative) experiences. I ended up crying pretty hard and feeling a little embarrassed, but James was really supportive and kind. It made me feel really good when he told me I should I be proud of myself for taking such a big step and that he's really excited about helping me. It felt genuine.
I feel optimistic and at the same time still fearful of the work involved. It has never been easy for me to analyze and talk about my feelings. I read in a book once that it's common for survivors of childhood sexual abuse to struggle with identifying emotions. Nonetheless, I am committing to going regularly and working hard to open up. I've got my appointment set for next Tuesday.
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